Customer: I'd buy that aardvark, but it's legs are too short.
Pet Shop Owner: Too short? They all touch the floor don't they?

If your aardvark lost his (or her) tail where would you get another one from?
A Retail Shop.

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I keep seeing flying aardvarks.
Doctor: Have you seen a psychiatrist?
Patient: No, I just keep seeing flying aardvarks.

Two aardvarks watched in amazement as a firework flashed across the sky.
1st aardvark: Wow! I wish I could fly like that.
2nd aardvark: You would, if your tail was on fire.

What will an aardvark become if you throw it into the sea?
Wet.

Fred and Bob shared a cage (it was a large one - no cruelty here) for their two pet aardvarks. So that they could tell which was which, they tied a red ribbon around Fred's aardvark's neck.
But one day when they went to play with their aardvarks (It was before school, so there was no hanky panky) the ribbon had fallen off. "How shall we tell the aardvarks apart now?" said Bob.
Fred thought for a while. "I know!" he said. "You have the dark brown aardvark, and I'll have the sandy coloured one!"

A man tried to sell his neighbour an aardvark, promising that it could talk, but his neighbour refused to believe him. Suddenly the aardvark spoke. "Please buy me," the aardvark pleaded. "My owner is cruel and never feeds me, even though I'm the most clever aardvark in the world."
"So he can talk!" exclaimed the neighbour. "Why on earth would you want to sell such an amazing creature?"
"Because he tells such awful lies..."

What has six legs, two arms, four eyes and a tail?
A man holding an aardvark.

What have all eighteenth century aardvarks got in common?
They are all dead.

George: I've got a new aardvark. Would you like to play with him?
Errol: I don't really know. I've heard it growling, it doesn't sound very friendly. Does it bite?
George: That's what I want to find out.

A man found an aardvark in the park.  So he went to a policeman and asked, "What should I do with it?"
"Take it to the zoo," the policeman replied.
The next day the policeman saw the man again, and he still had the aardvark with him.  "Why didn't you take that aardvark to the zoo?" the policeman asked.
"I did.  And today I'm taking it to the cinema instead."

Vet:  Give three teaspoonfuls of this to your aardvark every night.
Person:  But I've only got one teaspoon.

Mother:  Why did you put this aardvark in your sister's bed?
Little Boy:  I couldn't find a mouse.

Aardvark Owner:  Could I have a kilo of ants for my aardvark please?
Pet Shop Owner:  I'm sorry, we don't do exchanges.

What did the cobbler say to the annoying aardvark?
Shoo!

A lady went to the taxidermist to buy a stuffed aardvark for her husband, but she wasn't impressed by the one she was offered.  "It's not big enough," she said.  The taxidermist knew that it was the only one he had, but he pretended to go and have a look in the store room.  What he actually did was to ruffle the fur and put it in a bigger box.
"Oh, that's fine," said the lady, "I'll take them both."

A man wanted a new aardvark so he looked through the classified ads.  He phoned a number he found and an elderly lady answered.
"How much are your aardvarks?" he asked.
"They're £6 each," came the reply.
"Did you raise them yourself?" inquired the man.
"Oh yes," she said, "Yesterday they were only £5 each."

Little Boy: "Dad, what would happen if I stole that aardvark?"
Father: "You'd go to prison, son."
Little Boy: "Oh! You wouldn't forget to feed him while I was away, would you?"